A Craigslist Weirdo with a capital W just left my house
I’ve been cleaning out stuff on Craigslist so we can get at least one car into the garage. A lady emailed me that she wanted to come see our Elmo Workbench and musical tools. She seemed fine - wrote with correctly spelled words and complete sentences.
The spammers and weirdos are usually pretty easy to spot because English isn’t their first language and they use British English rather than American English when responding to US ads combined with really strange sentence construction. But I digress…
She called this morning, a Craigslist potential shopper good sign, to confirm a 2pm appointment. English didn’t sound to be her first language but all seemed fine.
When 2pm rolled around, I didn’t see her pull up so she came to the back and rang the bell. No sooner had I opened the door, she leaned towards me and pleaded/quasi-demanded to use my bathroom. She claimed she really, really, realllllly had to go because, as she pointed to her stomach that looked like she had stuffed it with half a cantaloupe, she was pregnant.
Before I could answer, but with my face clearing showing that this wasn’t an idea I’d warm up to, she said:
“If I can’t use your bathroom I will pee in your side yard”
Are you kidding me?!!
“You’re going to pee in my yard?” It was all I could say as my jaw hit the floor.
At this point there was no way she was coming inside my home. No amount of guilting and/or quasi forceful tone would change my mind. I told her we don’t allow Craigslist buyers in the house and she was more than welcome to go down the block to the very nice community center and use the public restroom. I’m not sure how to describe her look, because I was still trying to pick my jaw up off the floor at the thought of her dropping her drawers by my pear tree.
She wasn’t pleased. It was almost as if she couldn’t understand why I would be upset at her relieving herself outside around the corner. I figured Elmo wasn’t getting sold since given the awkwardness of the whole situation, she would go to the community center and not come back. Remember, she really, really, realllllly had to go.
But no…..
She suddenly decided her bladder could wait and was wondering why I wasn’t taking her to see the workbench. I was still so rattled that I walked briskly to the garage in my house slippers (in the drizzle), showed her Elmo and assorted tools, took her offer just to get rid of her, and hauled everything to her car.
When done, I closed the large front garage door and stood there in utter shock until she drove off.
Who in the world goes to a stranger’s house, quasi demands/begs to use their bathroom with the fakiest looking pregnancy bump I’ve ever seen, and then states that she will simply pee in your side yard if you don’t comply?
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November 23, 2009
2 comments
Good for you! Rather a brown dead grass patch in you lawn from pee than some other patch on the floor of you house. Better safe than sorry.
I wonder what she had in there and what she wanted to do with it…
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